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Up Colin Bell |
Under Construction and Review
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David Atchison
Strathie have
been very lucky over the years to attract a Kiwi contingent
which started with Coach Jono Philips then Jason ‘the heid’
Leslie joined us from Aberdeen. This year we are delighted and
lucky to have Mike ‘Turbo Dick’ Purser and David Atchison. It
turns out that we were very lucky to get David as he may have
had to stay in Aus. On the way to the airport he was driving
over Sydney Bridge when he sees his girlfriend ready to jump
off! He pulls over & says ‘Christ Sheila, wot ya doin?” She
says, “U got me pregnant Dave, & now I’m gonna jump off the
bridge you bastard.” He replies, “Strueth, not only are you a
good fuck, but you’re a good sport too!”
The tales of Dave & Mike continue.......
After another hard game of Rugby Dave
is all tucked up in bed with his teddy whilst Mike is
desperately seeking his hole oot and aboot in the toon.
Mike keeps his scoring rate up and takes a young bird
back to the rugby flat only to find Dave fast asleep
sucking his thumb on the bottom bunk. undaunted they
quietly climb up into the top bunk, Mike say's to the
young lassie "in order not to embarrase Dave if he wakes
up we'ed better keep it quiet", if you want it harder
whisper lettuce and if you want a different position
whisper tomato. As they get down to busiess she's
whispering tomato, lettuce, lettuce, tomato, lettuce
Dave pips up from the bottom bunk " will you to stop
making f'n sandwiches, the mayonaise is dripping all
over my face"!!
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Colin Bell |
Colin Bell aka Jesus Position:
Flanker, shirt number 7.
Age: 21
Background: Brickie Sponsor: Graeme Bell,
Iain Bell, Dave Flemming & Dick BrodleyWeb Site:
Click Here |
Garry Black |
Garry Black aka Buckets Position:
winger or
full back, shirt number’s 11, 14 or 15.
Age:
Background:
Property
Surveyor |
Mike Bruce |
Mike Bruce Position:
scrum
half, stand off or centre, shirt numbers 9, 10, 12 or 13. Mike
is also our Backs Coach, I think he is 36 and works as a Chef.& Kicking Coach.
Been in hospital with a bad case of "house-maids knee"
- thats what he
gets for being a school dinner lady!
Age: 36
Background: Chef |
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Stuart Caddel |
Stuart Caddel
Position:
Winger,
shirt numbers 11 or 14.
Age: 23
Background: Teacher at Forfar Academy, Nearly wore
'The Dick Of The Day' Jammies at Aberdeenshire |
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Jason Edwards |
Jason Edwards aka Dundee Tink
Position: Prop
Age: 19
Background:
Awards: First ever wearer of 'The Dick Of
The Day Jamies' |
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Sean Gray |
Position: Sean Gray aka Big Balls Position: Winger shirt number 11 or 14
Age: 20
Background: University Geek Web Site:
Click Here |
Stuart Gray |
Stuart Gray aka Disco Stu
Position: 2nd Row shirt number 4
Sponsored by:
Ingram Homes
Born: 1984
Background: Accounts Administrator
Web Site:
Click Here
One day young
Stu walks into his parents bedroom and catches his dad giving
his mum one, his dad just laughs, throws a pillow at him and
shouts ‘get out!’ A little while later Stu’s dad hears a
commotion coming from little Stu’s room, he rushes in and is
horrified to see Stu shagging his gran – Stu just looks at him
and says ‘not so fucking funny when it’s your mum is it?’
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David Hull |
David Hull aka 'Glory Hole Boy'
Position: Centre, shirt number 12 or 13
Age: 20
Background: Student in Newcastle - Toon
Planning
David had to come off last week during the Trinity game for
constipation, Deek drove him to hospital. The doctor
examined him and explained, "I'm going to give you some
suppositories. I'll insert one now, and then I'll give you
one for later on in the evening." Later that evening,
David asks his lass to insert the suppository. She agrees
reluctantly. Suddenly, 'Glory Hole Boy' shrieks, "Aahhhhh!"
"Whats wrong" Did I hurt you?" she asks. "No.... I just
realised that the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders"
Web Site:
Click
Here |
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James Kiely AKA Jimmy Neutron
Position: Winger
D.O.B: 17/11/1989
Job: School Boy Slut / Life Gaurd / Glory Hole BorerFeeling
the effect of the drink and basking in the ambience of scoring a
try on his 18th Birthday against Glenrothes , he began to
compare conquests with Geoff the Barman. James looking out
over the crowd at his birthday party said "You know Geoff,
except for my girlfriend, two sisters, my mother and my Granny
I've had sex with every woman in this room." "Well then,"
responds Geoff, "between the two of us we've had them all." |
Jason Leslie |
Jason Leslie aka the Heid Position: President, Coach & Second Row Forward,
Played 1 - 8 through the years
DOB: 30/10/68
Background:
Insturmental in the success of Rugby at Strathie over the
years and for brining a whole flock of Kiwi's over to
Scotland, just found out that his cousin coaches Marr Rugby in
the same division. Clubs Played For: Waitoh Juniors, Tiahape
1st XV, Kinton Army U 19, Te Kawau, Gordonians, Strathmore, NZ
Oil Blacks, NZ Army Engineers Corp Team. Honours: Scotland
Clasics |
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Mike Purser AKA Turbo Dick Age 23
Position: #12
Background: Newly arrived at Strathie previous clubs
include Glenfield RU (NZ) and Surfers Paradise (Aus) Currently
residing in the New Road Brothel, he took a bird up the road -
as soon as she saw his member she got dressed and complained to
him - " you told me in the pub you had at least a foot!"
"Shit No" he replied - "I said I had athletes foot!"
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Road Runner |
Road Runner aka Road Runner Position: Master of the Web &
Right or Left Wing
Age: 42
Background: Not played for a long long time, bugered
neck so cant anyway. Into athletics, hill running, former Thames
Valley Harriers Captain, |
Gus Robb |
Gus Robb
Former 1st Team Coach. Took Strathie to National Division
3 winning promotion from the Caledonian Division during 2006/7
season.
Currently
coaching with Strathmore Schools at Webster's High in Kirriemuir
and looking
after the alternative curriculum on2feet groups
Recently completed Trail cycle leader award and working on
Mountain bike leader award for the future
Age: over 21
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Craig Simm |
Craig Simm aka Tsunami
Position: Prop , shirt number 2 or 3
Age
Background |
Sponsor a Player
Fixtures / Results : Match Reports : Latest
Gallery |
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