Player Profile

Colin Bell

Under Construction and Review

David Atchison

Strathie have been very lucky over the years to attract a Kiwi contingent which started with Coach Jono Philips then Jason ‘the heid’ Leslie joined us from Aberdeen.  This year we are delighted and lucky to have Mike ‘Turbo Dick’ Purser and David Atchison.  It turns out that we were very lucky to get David as he may have had to stay in Aus.  On the way to the airport he was driving over Sydney Bridge when he sees his girlfriend ready to jump off!  He pulls over & says ‘Christ Sheila, wot ya doin?” She says, “U got me pregnant Dave, & now I’m gonna jump off the bridge you bastard.”  He replies, “Strueth, not only are you a good fuck, but you’re a good sport too!”

The tales of Dave & Mike continue.......

After another hard game of Rugby Dave is all tucked up in bed with his teddy whilst Mike is desperately seeking his hole oot and aboot in the toon.  Mike keeps his scoring rate up and takes a young bird back to the rugby flat only to find Dave fast asleep sucking his thumb on the bottom bunk.  undaunted they quietly climb up into the top bunk,  Mike say's to the young lassie "in order not to embarrase Dave if he wakes up we'ed better keep it quiet", if you want it harder whisper lettuce and if you want a different position whisper tomato.  As they get down to busiess she's whispering tomato, lettuce, lettuce, tomato, lettuce Dave pips up from the bottom bunk " will you to stop making  f'n sandwiches, the mayonaise is dripping all over my face"!!



Colin Bell

Colin Bell aka Jesus

Position: Flanker, shirt number 7.

Age: 21

Background: Brickie

Sponsor:  Graeme Bell, Iain Bell, Dave Flemming & Dick Brodley

Web Site: Click Here

Garry Black
Garry Black aka Buckets

Position:  winger or full back, shirt number’s 11, 14 or 15.


Background: Property Surveyor


Mike Bruce
Mike Bruce

Position:  scrum half, stand off or centre, shirt numbers 9, 10, 12 or 13. Mike is also our Backs Coach, I think he is 36 and works as a Chef.& Kicking Coach.
 Been in hospital with a bad case of "house-maids knee" - thats what he gets for being a school dinner lady!

Age: 36

Background: Chef


Stuart Caddel
Stuart Caddel

Position:  Winger, shirt numbers 11 or 14.

Age: 23

Background: Teacher at Forfar Academy,  Nearly wore 'The Dick Of The Day' Jammies at Aberdeenshire



Jason Edwards
Jason Edwards aka Dundee Tink

Position: Prop

Age: 19


Awards: First ever wearer of 'The Dick Of The Day Jamies'


Sean Gray
Position: Sean Gray aka Big Balls

Position: Winger shirt number 11 or 14

Age: 20

Background: University Geek

Web Site: Click Here

Stuart Gray
Stuart Gray aka Disco Stu

Position: 2nd Row shirt number 4

Sponsored by: Ingram Homes

Born: 1984

Background: Accounts Administrator

Web Site: Click Here

One day young Stu walks into his parents bedroom and catches his dad giving his mum one, his dad just laughs, throws a pillow at him and shouts ‘get out!’  A little while later Stu’s dad hears a commotion coming from little Stu’s room, he rushes in and is horrified to see Stu shagging his gran – Stu just looks at him and says ‘not so fucking funny when it’s your mum is it?’

David Hull
David Hull aka 'Glory Hole Boy'

Position: Centre, shirt number 12 or 13

Age: 20

Background: Student in Newcastle - Toon Planning

David had to come off last week during the Trinity game for constipation, Deek drove him to hospital.  The doctor examined him and explained, "I'm going to give you some suppositories.  I'll insert one now, and then I'll give you one for later on in the evening."  Later that evening, David asks his lass to insert the suppository.  She agrees reluctantly.  Suddenly, 'Glory Hole Boy' shrieks, "Aahhhhh!"  "Whats wrong" Did I hurt you?" she asks.  "No.... I just realised that the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders"

Web Site: Click Here

  James Kiely AKA Jimmy Neutron
Position: Winger
D.O.B: 17/11/1989
Job: School Boy Slut / Life Gaurd / Glory Hole Borer

Feeling the effect of the drink and basking in the ambience of scoring a try on his 18th Birthday against Glenrothes , he began to compare conquests with Geoff the Barman.  James looking out over the crowd at his birthday party said "You know Geoff, except for my girlfriend, two sisters, my mother and my Granny I've had sex with every woman in this room."  "Well then," responds Geoff, "between the two of us we've had them all."

Jason Leslie
Jason Leslie aka the Heid

Position: President, Coach & Second Row Forward, Played 1 - 8 through the years

DOB: 30/10/68


Insturmental in the success of Rugby at Strathie over the years  and for brining a whole flock of Kiwi's over to Scotland, just found out that his cousin coaches Marr Rugby in the same division.

Clubs Played For: Waitoh Juniors, Tiahape 1st XV, Kinton Army U 19, Te Kawau, Gordonians, Strathmore, NZ Oil Blacks, NZ Army Engineers Corp Team.

Honours: Scotland Clasics

  Mike Purser AKA Turbo Dick

Age 23

Position: #12

Background:  Newly arrived at Strathie previous clubs include Glenfield RU (NZ) and Surfers Paradise (Aus)

Currently residing in the New Road Brothel, he took a bird up the road - as soon as she saw his member she got dressed and complained to him - " you told me in the pub you had at least a foot!"

"Shit No" he replied - "I said I had athletes foot!"


Road Runner
Road Runner aka Road Runner

Position: Master of the Web & Right or Left Wing

Age: 42

Background:  Not played for a long long time, bugered neck so cant anyway. Into athletics, hill running, former Thames Valley Harriers Captain, 

Gus Robb
Gus Robb

Former 1st Team Coach.  Took Strathie to National Division 3 winning promotion from the Caledonian Division during 2006/7 season.

Currently coaching with Strathmore Schools at Webster's High in Kirriemuir and looking after the alternative curriculum on2feet groups

Recently completed Trail cycle leader award and working on Mountain bike leader award for the future
Age: over 21

Craig Simm
Craig Simm aka Tsunami

Position: Prop , shirt number 2 or 3



Sponsor a Player

Fixtures / Results : Match Reports :  Latest Gallery

Main Club Sponsor